How to fight well: exploring healthy conflict

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  • Learn how to speak your truth and have the conversations that matter.

  • Reduce the level of stress and anxiety that conflict takes up in your life.

  • Develop new skills, build your confidence and make invaluable new connections.

Why do we need to fight well?

When we focus on conflict transformation or resolution we perpetuate the idea that conflict is a problem to be solved.

In nature, conflict is a creative and generative process that is essential for the survival of relationships within communities and across whole species.

It’s only our very human attitudes and behaviours that turn conflict into a destructive or oppressive force.

This practice is about understanding the fundamental root system of conflict and where that starts - in ourselves - so that we can begin to start to choose our response rather than be victims of our reactions.

From there we work towards a completely new perspective and set of tools that can bring more connection, clarity and creativity into our work and lives.

Now more than ever we need to find our voice, hear others’ more clearly and use the immense power and wisdom we have available to us.

How the course works

On this 6-week, online course, an intimate group of 8 people will explore what it means to do conflict well.

We’ll meet online for two hours each week to explore a new aspect of understanding conflict and ourselves in it.

We’ll share experiences, questions and uncover what each of us needs to do next to further our own development.

Between sessions we’ll keep in touch via a closed Facebook group and I’ll be available to answer questions by email.

Over the course of the programme you’ll be sent worksheets and reading material to support and catalyse your learning.

By the end of the course you’ll have a new toolkit, a new understanding and you’ll have tried out some new behaviours that will, over time, become helpful habits.

And you’ll have a group of friends you can keep in contact with for help and support.

What to expect

The next course starts in March (click the link to see a full list of session dates).

Each session is two hours, from 10.00am–12.00pm, UK time.

A place on the course costs from £200.

Among a whole range of things we’ll cover:

  • The roots of conflict and our relationship with it

  • The role of blame and judgement in unhealthy conflict

  • How to stay present and keep learning in difficult relationships

  • Tools for clear communication and seeing clearly

  • How to manage yourself in high-stress situations.

What other people said

Some of the feedback from the first cohort of participants:

“I now have a much more nuanced and mindful approach to conflict, a deeper awareness of my own blindspots when it comes to how I handle conflict and a whole host of new tools to use when I find myself in conflict. I have a group of incredibly supportive fellow participants to whom I can direct questions and with whom I can share my experiences and seek support.”

"I can't stress how much it helped me to modulate my responses, identify trigger points and manage myself when I find myself slipping into unhelpful behaviours."

“This course was so awesome I want to go again. If you’re even a little bit tempted then go for it. Future you thanks you.”

“Full of valuable content, enriching conversations and powerful moments of sharing.”

"A sense of real interest and desire for enquiry has come in alongside the anxiety and fear!  I have something to nurture and grow as a way to engage in conflict."

"I now have courage - belief that there is no need to avoid conflict, only approach it in the right way. Like if you walk behind a horse it will kick you, but if you approach with care and consideration you can ride off into the sunset."

If you'd like to know about how this course came about, you can read more here.